Breathe
by LordByronMudkippington
Summary: An icy front can only be melted by a sunny disposition.


Little things triggered her emotions. Something so simple could set her off, leaving her in a sour mood for hours. It didn't help engender herself positively to her classmates, so she spent her time alone. Her moodiness went with her on the way home, which left a noticeable divide between her and her family. With her solitude, she allowed herself to dwell on all of her negative emotions. She was mad at her classmates for ignoring her, and she was mad at her family for not appreciating her. Most of all though, she was mad at herself for being too difficult to handle. It upset her nearly to the point of tears, but she never let them fall. She was too strong to cry.

The feeble pull of a complete breakdown would not best her. There were expectations of her, and some part of her refused to fail them. Those expectations placed on her by family became her own expectations, as loathe as she was to admit it, and she definitely couldn't fail herself. To distract herself, she poured all of her efforts into her studying. As her knowledge grew, her grades soared, and her isolation continued unabated.

When she actually gained a friend, it wasn't a big event like one might expect. It was just another instance in her life, and so she continued on with her appearance of standoffish, rude behavior. Maybe it was weird that this didn't deter the girl, who refused to leave her alone no matter how dismissive she acted. They barely even spoke, and they certainly didn't hang out together, but still this girl always found time to be around her. It was the closest thing she had ever had to a friend, so that's what she considered their one-sided dealings: a friendship.

One day, her emotions stopped being contained to the very back of her mind. They began to stretch out their miserable influence over her brain without warning, leaving her consistently mentally compromised. Suddenly, studying for school didn't seem so appealing. Even the desire to wake up in the morning was gone, but each day she pushed through. No matter what, she wouldn't cry. She would not break down.

It was then that she began to speak to her friend more often. She wasn't sure at first why she began to talk more freely, but eventually she came to the conclusion that her loneliness had finally gotten to her. As her mental state started to deteriorate, the comforts of a friend helped soften the blow, if ever-so slightly. It still didn't make their friendship any less strange though. There weren't too many people as different as herself and Ruby.

No amount of caustic quips ever seemed to break down that naive, happy disposition Ruby held day in and day out. It was annoying but not enough for her to deliberately say something so harsh that it had the potential to permanently sever ties between them. Happiness wasn't exactly her thing, but the fact that the emotion never wavered within Ruby was a constant that she subtly clung to. It was important for her to have something constant in her life, as her own emotions were anything but.

They were wild and unpredictable, getting worse as each week passed. Unshakeable anger would melt away into untenable sadness, and it took all of her willpower to keep herself from showing off her instabilities publicly. It was in private that she would scream and throw things around her room, where she would tear at empty pages of notebook paper to try and focus her anger. The only thing she allowed herself in public was the painful digging of her nails into her palm, but that was just to keep herself from shedding any tears. She wasn't going to break down. No way, no how.

Somehow, while all this emotional turmoil raged inside her mind, she became good enough friends with Ruby to meet her family. Under no circumstances did she ever want to extend an invitation for Ruby to meet her own family, but she couldn't think of a reason not to accept the other way around. Right away she could tell that it would be harder to get along with Ruby's older sister, Yang. She was even more outgoing and boisterous, a loud and proud girl whom she realized that she had seen before. They had no classes together, but they were in the same year, so she had occasionally seen the blonde in the halls, or, more accurately, heard her. She just had to make her presence known, it seemed.

They did clash the more she began spending time around Ruby. Arguments about random things cropped up despite Ruby's attempts to play peacekeeper. It was her fault, though: she just couldn't keep herself from being naturally confrontational. The more they argued, the more her mind turned to self-loathing, which only increased the arguments. It was the only way she could keep herself in a state of flux, so that she couldn't focus on the real problem: herself.

It was during one of those unnecessary arguments that she finally snapped. She couldn't remember what it was they were arguing about in the first place, but it caused her to start screaming, something she hadn't done once during their discourses. It caught Yang off guard, but she was already leaving the room, unable to deal with what she had just done. Apparently she had finally snapped, and she wanted to be alone in case it happened again.

She couldn't get out of the house, though. Yang caught her, trying to figure out what had just happened, but she ended up yelling again. "Let me go, Yang!" At that point, Ruby came in, alerted to the sound of yelling. She knew it then: she was going to break down. All of her hard work at holding herself together was going to come crumbling down at her feet. Her throat tightened as a variety of emotions overwhelmed her, and she was able to break free of Yang's grip and escape into another room.

Yet again solitude was but a fleeting moment. She fell against the door, barely hanging onto the threads of her sanity. Barely any time had gone by before something - or someone - smacked into the door. Startled, she heard Ruby's voice just before the door began to be pushed open. Resistance was futile, as it seemed that Ruby had more strength that she let on. The door came open despite her silent protests, and then Ruby was in the room.

There must have been something about her that made Ruby realize that something was really wrong. Maybe it was her wide, pained eyes, or the way her hands shook as she tried to calm her rapidly-beating heart. She couldn't do it, though: she couldn't breathe. It wasn't to a point where she was legitimately suffocating, but stable, calming breathing was beyond her. Everything was just too much.

Soft hands grabbed her shoulders firmly, and she found herself looking into Ruby's eyes, no longer filled with the childlike wonder they usually held. Instead, they had a more serious glint to them, refusing to break eye contact. Her voice broke through the walls her mind had constructed so well, the walls that had been slowly crumbling them as she desperately tried to rebuild them. "Weiss, look at me. You need to breathe. Just breathe for me, Weiss."

Just breathe? She couldn't. It wasn't happening. Ruby kept insisting though, still holding onto her shoulders. "Breathe in through your nose, then hold it for three seconds. After that, breathe out through your mouth. Please Weiss, do it for me." Something about the tone of Ruby's voice made her stop and consider it. Her shoulders relaxed a bit in Ruby's grasp as she breathed in through her nose. However, before the three seconds had ended she exhaled back through her nose, distracted by the feeling of tears slipping down her cheeks.

She had started crying. The one thing she had promised herself that she wouldn't do was happening, and even worse her embarrassing breakdown was happening right in front of her only friend. She pushed herself out of Ruby's grasp and turned around, hiding her face in her hands. The damage was now irreparable, but she still felt compelled to hide her weakness.

If she thought that this would be the point where she'd be left alone, she was sorely mistaken. Ruby instead hugged her from behind, pulling her closer as she tried and failed to stop herself from crying. The tears wouldn't stop falling though, years of pent-up emotions spilling out of her.

"It's okay to cry, Weiss." Ruby's voice was soft and caring in her ear, reaching through her devastation. "Don't be afraid to be yourself in front of me." Was that what Ruby really wanted? She couldn't imagine anyone wanting uncensored access to her messed-up self, but her friend seemed so insistent, so truthful.

She allowed herself to be turned around, staring into Ruby's eyes. The truth that was in her voice was equally reflected in her eyes, and it drew her in. Falling into Ruby's arms, she continued to cry without restraint, sobbing openly and bitterly until there were no more tears left to shed. Still she didn't try to leave, shaking and whimpering while Ruby's soft fingers ran through her hair.

They didn't speak for a long time, but she was okay with being in silence. She didn't need anything to be said to know that Ruby was still there. It was her actions that spoke louder than words, but she still didn't know why Ruby was doing this. All she knew was that it was happening, and for that she would be eternally grateful.

As they sat there together, she finally began to take Ruby's advice, concentrating on those specific breathing instructions. She did this until her mind finally calmed down and she appeared presentable. Wiping away the stray tears, she noticed Ruby smiling at her. Why? What about her could possibly bring about such a smile?

"Let's just stay here for a bit. Nobody will bother us in here." She still didn't know what had happened to bring a smile to Ruby's face, but she decided that it wasn't important to ask. Instead, she merely nodded and curled up tighter into Ruby's embrace, comforted by the silence and the warmth that enveloped her.

There was something about it that felt right. This was where she needed to be right now. She hadn't wanted to go outside like this anyway, but now there wasn't a reason to. At least now there was someone there. At least now she didn't feel so alone. When the tears began to fall again, she didn't try to stop them. Baring herself emotionally didn't seem so horrifying with someone else there: someone she could trust.

Being held tight in Ruby's arms made her feel strong enough to cry.


End file.
